My heart is a caged bird tormented by the way I have it beat, its wing furiously tearing at my lungs, when I think of when you hurt me. My heart stays in a quiet confinement within my bony cage.
Say those words, any word at all, and unlock such a magnanimous and beautiful creature from its solitary confinement for the bird knows nothing of the brain.
I shout and scream that I will never hear those words but the bird is deaf to my cries, only wishing to be free.
With every quickening beat sweet air is stolen from my own lungs and tears I choke back seem to bathe my soft, burning cheeks. The heat seems to battle against my will to keep these tears chained…along with the bird.
With every furious beat I clench and tighten and take arms against the rebellious avion that only personifies the torment in my heart.
I feel them…a million pieces begin to separate inside me as the bird begins to break free of its chains and I collapse in a heap of them.
Me. Of skin and bone and everything else inside me leaves in a million different directions.
Please God give me the strength to tame the pet I once knew how to subdue with the slow intake of breath and his sweet kiss.
My own body, torn apart in defiance and, although I am mad of a million pieces (and no longer within one skin), I still think of your words.
Hopelessly.
Desperately.
A glance toward the heavens at the moment of that very last tear, a red winged creature is stunned into stillness in mid-air. Softly it falls from grace and I know it to be the end of my own, once passionate heart.
Running. Falling. Bending. Clutching its wing and feeling broken bones, shattered by it’s mighty struggle
To learn the art of repair will take until the closest sun…because we have done this every night. I have been broken. I have been mended. I have been tormented.
Again
and again
and again.